Weird Magic 03: The Rejection Episode

Hi There.

Strap in baby cause it's The Rejection Episode. Let me start by making something extremely clear: I am so happy that you're here. This episode is long and personal. So long that I considered breaking it into 2 or 3 emails, and so personal that I knew that I had to press send soon.

Get comfy and grab your fav bevy, because today we're getting into the story about my greatest rejection.

I am under the delusion that everything in this chapter of my life is happening for me. 
 

Honestly, this delusion is an amazing place to be. I've decided the universe looks after me with the fondness and intensity of that quintessential moment in a Rom-Com where Patrick Dempsey (who has traversed mountain ranges and rivers) knocks on your apartment door unexpectedly to pull you into his arms, and presumably sweeps you off your feet for eternity. It feels good, like really good.

I should note that I do struggle maintaining this delusion at times, but damn if I'm not committed to the idea. My mindset is that there is momentum building in any aspect of my life is going toward something better than I can even imagine. 

I highly recommend this delusion for you, too. 

In fact, a significant part of me wishes that I could have developed this delusion sooner. But I know if that was the case, I'd risk that The Great Rejection would have transpired differently. I am so grateful for the way the following events transpired because it brought me here. As a former Tumblr obsessed teenager, I've always wanted to overshare on the internet, and now look at me doing that very thing, in your inbox, pal. Dream come true.

Act One

It all started with a leap of faith in 2019: a phone screening turned into an in-person job interview. I went into the on-site interview thinking the role wasn't quite the fit I wanted for my career. But I needed the interview practice, after all I had been at a startup for 7+ years.

The interview was for an executive coordinator role, one that supported a VP and Associate VP at the university closest to me AND closest to the bars and restaurants I like. I didn't think I wanted to be an executive assistant, but I knew I could do it, if I needed to. I was toying with the idea of becoming an EA because I love other peoples' business.

I wore a royal blue blouse with black pants to look polished but not boring for my on-site interview. After being shuffled around to a few different panel interviews, I met with each executive that this role would support. First, was the AVP, whom the role would spend about 70% of their time supporting. She was described as a hummingbird and I could tell from the conversations about her, she was admired both personally and professionally. 

I walked into the 1:1 interview with the admired AVP and I was met with a big smile. She was 5'1” but had the energy of someone much, much taller. 

Before I even got comfortable in my chair, I thought to myself, “oh fuck, I have to work for her.” 

This was no longer a practice interview. I was determined to get the job offer. I knew with so much clarity that she was the type of mentor I needed, at this exact pivotal moment in my career. I'm an Aries sun with a Taurus moon, so sometimes I'm just stubborn - but this time I was spot on. 

I could go on and on about the professional experience of working for her; the joy of feeling so valued by an absolute powerhouse of a leader and how she could always bring the best out in those around her. I remember thinking once, “she's studying each of us.”

Most of our touch points throughout any given week were in 30 second sprints; pacing alongside her during her days spent in back to back meetings. It took me a long time to get accustomed to how much this little gemini in a blazer could track on, manage and accomplish on a daily basis. No matter what type of day she was having personally, from all vantage points, it looked like she was doing her life's work. She could  make every meeting feel like it was her most important meeting (and if you know the nonprofit sector at all, that's a lot of meetings).

Remaining nimble alongside her, I learned to thrive in my role. She trusted me with a level of responsibility that should have been out of my reach. She challenged and championed me relentlessly. I don't know much about comics but I'd like to think that she was the Batman to my Robin.
 

Perhaps most importantly, she showed me how to trust my intuition. 

You might be thinking, “This isn't a rejection story.” But hold tight, the second act is coming.

Act Two

In peak 2020 chaos, three friends and former colleagues reached out and asked if they could refer me to open EA roles where they worked. I was happy in my role, but once I heard the salary ranges for these positions, I knew I should at least take the interviews.

Much to my surprise, I made it to the final round of interviews for all three roles. One was at a start-up and the final interview process was three 45 minute interviews. The second was a 4 hour block of interviews. The last was a role supporting a VP at Amazon, the pay range was well above what I thought EA's could earn, and the final  interview process was 7 hours. This all transpired in a two week period, I was stress sweating like you wouldn't believe. 

Three opportunities led to three rejections. I was three for three.

The Amazon job broke my heart a little, hence why I call it The Great Rejection.
 

I had even drafted up what my yearly and monthly budgets could look like at that projected pay range (LOL). One day shortly after the rejection I told my therapist, “it's so much money, I could've afforded to live here alone and STILL have so much more money than I have now” to which she replied, “do you want to live alone?”

See..I was living with a long term boyfriend at the time, we were on the relationship escalator. We had traveled together, been together for a few years, this was our second lease and I was teetering on getting a dog. We lived in a one bedroom duplex with tons of natural light, a gas stove, hardwood floors, a patio, yard, and a 400 sqft basement in one of Seattle's most adorable neighborhoods. If that doesn't sound perfect enough, it was a 10 minute walk from the transit line and a 15 min walk to Lake Washington.

My therapist is good, really good. But sometimes her comments make my head spin, this was one of those “damnit, Karen” moments (she's seen a lot of eye rolls from me). Her not so subtle nudge forced me to consider whether or not it was my job I wanted to change. Up until that point, I hadn't a clue about the internal truths that I had been avoiding.

The Great Rejection was the beginning of a snowball effect of changes across my life. It was the catalyst that resulted in a complete life overhaul. A redesign.

The next few months were a whirlwind. I pulled off the planning and execution for one of the best professional projects I've ever done. To not a single person's surprise, Gemini Batman suggested that I be put in charge of said project, even though it should have belonged to someone with more prestige in their title. 

As per usual, she was spot on, I was the person for the job. While the project was challenging, it went off without a hitch. I really put on a show. Using skills I forgot I had, challenging my ability to manage competing priorities, and not missing a single cue. Things went so well, my other executive rewarded me an extra week of PTO.

I was incredibly proud of myself, but while all of this was transpiring, my romantic life had started to tank. Avoiding it was no longer working, and Venti cold brews weren't strong enough. I could barely eat for three weeks, which is notable because under lesser circumstances I am an exceptional emotional eater.

The day after the project wrapped, I went home and broke up with the boyfriend. The real heartbreak came when I had to say goodbye to the hardwood floors, adorable neighborhood, gas stove and lakeside walks. 
 

I had been avoiding some realities about what I wanted and what makes me happy. The redesign was necessary. 

My things went into a storage unit and I worked 98% remotely while I went on what I called the friends tour. Over the course of about 6 months I spent 2-3 weeks staying with some of my closest friends (that just happened to have guest rooms). I spent time in San Diego, Sacramento and Bend. I also spent weeks with my sister in Portland and returned back to Seattle for periods of strategic dog sitting. 

If you ever need to mend a broken heart, I highly suggest running away to your friends and my sister Megan's house... It was a glorious harmony of operational chaos, joy, quality time and healing (the hard but good kind).

The Great Rejection was the best redirection I could ask for.

Act Three

I planned to get my things out of my storage unit and move into a cozy Seattle apartment, staying at the EA job until I could find something else I to grow into. During my friends tour, Gemini Batman covered for me; allowing me to take on more responsibilities that could be done remotely and taking on things that were way below her pay grade because I wasn't onsite to do them myself. She knew exactly what was going on and had my back, even when it was inconvenient.

The return to Seattle plan took a detour. 

One day a friend of mine texted me, stressed over her living situation. She was relatively new to LA and just learned that her roommate was moving out. In order to keep the apartment, she had to take over the lease (and find a roommate). She felt like she had no one.

I haphazardly offered to come sublet for a few months. A few weeks later she circled back and asked if that was realistic. It was, sort of.

I planned to “winter” in LA while she found a permanent solution, knowing this would push the limits of my “remote work agreement.” 

I was in San Diego at the time, so I came up to a few days to see the apartment in LA. I ended up getting a job interview while I was in LA. I found out a few days later that I got the job. My start date was in 3 weeks, it was a 12 minute commute from the apartment and a considerable pay bump. It felt nothing short of tailor-made. 

There is nothing I would change about that experience. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without The Great Rejection. 

That 'no' from Amazon, kicked the door open to so many yeses in my life that I never even imagined. Since that moment it seems like there are opportunities sprinting towards me.

Last year while still working my 9-5, living life with endless tacos and sunshine, a friend of a friend texted me asking for web design help. After that, she referred me to another client, and another client. She is now a close friend, a three-peat client and one of my biggest advocates!

And the rest is kind of history. 

Thanks to the leap of faith on Gemini Batman, I started to develop my intuition and soon after, the delusion that everything is happening for me. 

It's working out incredibly well. I suggest you try both.

And I haaaaave to ask. Do you have your own Gemini Batman? I'd love to hear about what great leadership has done in your life.

Thank you for being here, you’re an absolute gem.

All my best,
Erin